I am sitting here listening to the rain. Any other day, I wouldn't think twice about it. Florida Summer storms, no biggie... But this is the beggining of whatever Irma is bringing our way,
so it's a little unnerving.
We are prepared. Honestly, I haven't been that worried. I am at the place where I accepted that we have done all we can and now we just have to give it to God. This is something that really isn't that easy to do. But, what I haven't quite given up is the concern for AFTER. What damage are we going to have? how long will the power be out? So... I am working on being able to get to the place where I can let go of the worry.
So, how can I do that? I have to trust God. And one way that helps me do that is to look back and see how He has been in control in previous storms. No, I am not talking about a hurricane. The storms in my life the last decade...
God was in control when my son decided he didn't want anything to do with his parents and left on his 18th birthday. My heart was shattered. There were times I couldn't catch my breath, I hurt so bad. But God was with me the whole time. Even when I kept asking why this was happening. It took a few months, but different circumstances brought our son back to us a few months later. And a couple of years after that, he came to live with us in Texas for 2 years. God was faithful.
God was in control when my daughter almost died after delivering her baby girl. It was a horrible time. And then she had a couple of months where she thought she was never going to feel 'normal' again. But God was there all along. He is faithful. She recovered, went back to work, got married and had another baby, a beautiful baby boy. And that pregnancy/delivery was danger free.
God was in control when we moved back from Texas and Mom was with us. She really did not want to live with us but go back to Tampa, which was over an hour away. Her health was poor, and living that far from us was not a good idea. Again, through different circumstances, the opportunity to move to Tampa closed and she had to stay with us. A year later she passed away. It was not easy for her or for me. But God was faithful and helped us walk through a very difficult time.
So, if God can take care of a wayward son, a near death experience of my daughter, and deal with my difficult, head strong mother, He can most definitely handle Irma. Will He spare us damage? I don't know. Will I understand why He didn't? Probably not. But what I DO know is that He has a purpose for everything He does.
I heard not long ago the phrase "When You Can't See God's Hand Working, Trust His Heart"
SO, I am going to do that. Will I falter and take my eyes off Him? Maybe, probably. But that doesn't mean God will.
I am looking forward to what He is going to do with this mess. And I don't mean the hurricane. I mean ME :)
Sunday, September 10, 2017
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
We are almost done with January 2017. So far, it has not been a good year.
Usually, a new year gets me rejuvenated. I like a clean slate, a blank calendar, another chance at getting it right. But this year has been different. I seem to have been stuck under a dark cloud.
Maybe depression? Not sure. The uglyness going on in this country has been overwhelming.
I realized the other day that I felt the same way 4 years ago at the last election.
A feeling of hopelessness. People hating/attacking one another.
But I can't give the whole credit to that.
Something else... I've been feeling a sense of 'impending doom'. Death. Not a good feeling!
I KNOW when I hit these moments, it is directly connected to my walk with God.
OR I should clarify: my LACK of walk with God.
I have gotten lazy. Spending too much time on the computer playing games, social media....
I have been in this hole, not knowing how (OR maybe not wanting to) get out.
Still going about life, doing what I am supposed to do, joy and happiness is overrated, right?
I reached out to my dear friend, and she responded with this Scripture:
Psalm 16:8-11I keep my eyes on the Lord. With him at my right hand. I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at you right hand.
Therefore since we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endure the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and loose heart.
I have been weary, looking at what is going on around me. At the failure that I am.
Of course this world is going to let me down. Of course I am going to fail. We are all broken.
But God IS perfect.
He has given me (AND YOU) all that is needed to finish the race that is called life!
The tools are in His Word. We just have to go to them.
Lauren Daigle has a new song out called "Come Alive (dry bones)".
I liked it the 1st time I heard it, mainly because it has a great sound.
But hadn't really listened to the words till now.......
I am dry bones. I have allowed myself to become brittle.
Well, can't let it continue. It is wasteful.
God loves me. In every condition: healthy, thriving, sad, lazy, and brittle...
And I am glad He does.
But, man, if I was Him, I would be saying
"Get a grip, girl! I have given you all you need, so USE it!"
So today is my New Year's Day.
Am I going to mess up and fall again? Yea, most definitely.
But I am not going to stay in the hole. I do NOT need to be wasting my days like I have been.
I am going to post this on FB so that this time next year, it reminds me of what I said.
Cuz I am sure I am going to need it!!
PS: I want to be my friend when I grow up!