Well, a month into it, Mom decided to disappear and DCF got involved. The kids were going to be put in Foster Care. We were not licensed foster parents, but we had already fallen in love with the kids and hated to see them go thru yet another change in their lives. So we requested that DCF allow the kids to remain with us. We became what DCF calls "Non-Relative Custodian".
Now we are in November. Mom is still MIA, but Dad has appeared out of nowhere after not seeing kids in over 3 months. So the reunification with Dad started. He was not the 'offending' parent, but he still had to comply with certain things before he could take kids home. That lasted till end of February. The kids went home to Dad. For 5 months our house was busy and loud. Then, it was quiet again. I admit, My heart was missing them, but the quiet home was good too. (and the cats got to finally relax!)
I was assigned as the "Safety Manager" to the kids. Which meant I was to talk to them weekly on the phone, and make a monthly visit to their home. They lived 45 minutes away. As time passed, you could tell they were 'moving on' without us. The phone conversations got shorter. I admit, that made me sad. But that's how it's supposed to be. Fred and I were not their parents.
Let me take a couple of steps back.... Fred and I are very involved in our church. So while the kids were with us, they became part of our church family. Everyone loved them. The kids had wonderful adult role models. We had devotional time every night with the kids. They had very limited exposure to the Bible, so they were real curious and had lots of questions. Like little sponges, they soaked it all in. Our girl (10) asked Jesus in her heart on Dec. 26th. And our oldest boy (12) asked Jesus in his heart on February 20th.
Ok, back to the story... Dad was scheduled to be signed off with DCF in August. Several things happened and instead, on October 4th, a year after we took the kids in the first time, we get a call from DCF asking if we will take the kids again.
I also need to add that after the kids went home to their Dad, Fred and I felt that God was leading us to become licensed foster parents. Not necessarily to take in kids again, but to be a home of respite for other foster parents. Through our experience with the kids, we had seen how hard foster parenting was, and we wanted to be a support system. And I confess, I also wanted to be licensed because deep down, I had doubts about the home situation the kids were in and wanted to be prepared to step in just in case...
So, yes, we said we would take the kids. This time, it was going to be 4. the youngest girl was included. the youngest boy had already been moved to a paternal relative. (he had a different dad than the other 4). We weren't sure how hard it was going to be with 1 more. But we fell in love with her just like we did the others.
Now we are a month in on our '2nd tour' with the J kids. The plan DCF has is to have the kids go live with their paternal grandmother, who lives in NY. It may take up to 6 months for all the paperwork and necessary background to be done before the kids move. Honestly, we are hoping they are able to finish school here and not have to switch to yet another school in 1 year.
We love these kids as our own. YES, they are exhausting. there are 4 of them. And they are KIDS.
I am 54 and Fred is 57. We are NOT spring chickens, lol. Our kids are grown and have thriving lives of their own. We have 2 grandbabies! If someone came to me 5 years ago when we moved to North Port and said we would be raising 4 kids 12 and under, I would have said they had a loose screw.
But Fred and I have not had one minute of regret from our decision. We know without a doubt this is where God has us. We get a lot of people telling us 'you and Fred are amazing' 'you guys are so special' 'it's incredible what you are doing'.
PLEASE let me explain. NO WE ARE NOT. But God IS. Fred and I are so flawed. I have a short temper. My tongue gets away from me and I can be unkind. Fred likes his 'time'. He is an introvert. We are NOT equipped to do the work of foster care. But God IS. He is the one putting words of encouragement in my mouth. He is the one holding me back when I just want to scream. He is the one that gives Fred the desire to go in the yard and throw the football with the kids even when he has had a long day at work and just wants to sit and play on his ham radio. God is changing us. God is working a mighty plan to benefit not just the kids, but us as well. These 4 J kids are our kids. We are a family. A family of misfits, some would say, haha.
We have no idea what the future holds for us. All we know is that we can't do it on our own. God is running this show.
He has to.
