Birthday #44

yes, that's me 44 years ago.

I think I was 3 (?) in this one

My birthday was last Thursday. I have no shame when my birthday comes. I tell everyone who will listen. I think birthday people SHOULD be celebrated. I try to do that with my family and my friends. I mean, you should celebrate that God has given you another year, right?

Not to sound whiny, but most of my birthdays have not been all that memorable. Maybe it's because my expectations are too high? I don't know... but my bdays usually come and go without too much fanfare... In my 'old age' , I have come to accept this. I usually just treat myself to some goodies. This year, I went and bought me a cute summer set to wear to school.

But I have to say, that even though with all the stuff going on in my life this year, my birthday wasn't bad. One of the teachers got me cupcakes, the kids in my class sang to me, SOME of them behaved for me (lol). Another teacher and her class sang to me in the lunchroom. (it was funny cuz the kids were singing, but then they asked, 'who is she?')
My best friend (and hubby) took me out for chinese and Star Trek. So, over all, it was a pretty cool day.

I don't know if it is my getting more 'mature', or growing closer to the Lord through life's issues. But I find myself looking forward to Heaven. I mean, as a Christian, I have always thought of Heaven as a place to look forward to. But I always had the thought in the back of my mind: don't take me yet Lord, let me spend more time with my kids, my family, there is still stuff I want to do....
Not anymore. I am ready. I can't wait for the "no more tears, no more pain, no more fears".

But until that day, I'll hold on to HIM always.

Update on Mom

I was reviewing my blog post and realized I hadn't updated on Mom.
We went to her pulmonologist on Thursday. He said the nodules have grown an inch. That is very quickly. He will be doing a biopsy in a couple of weeks. His opinion, it grew TOO fast to be a tumor, could be an infection, though she hasn't had any fevers with it. It could also have something to do with her rheumatoid arthritis... bottom line, he doesn't know.

We are still adjusting. Some days good, others, not so... still trying to go through boxes. Fred is looking forward to having the patio room back to normal. (normal, hahaha)

I am trying to figure out how much control and in charge should I be of my mom. She is getting very forgetful, she wants me to be the one to communicate with her doctors, but at the same time, she is paranoid that people are keeping things from her. So I have to be careful that I don't look like I am taking over things she still wants control over. It's a delicate thing.

But God is in control of this situation as well. I know He is. And that gives me peace.

Isaiah 41:10

God is good

Yes, that's Andy on the couch with his dad. He called and said he would come over for a while, so we decided to watch a movie. Well, the movie was 'the day the earth stood still'... don't really blame him for falling asleep. Not a great movie...

But what is more important is the fact he came over. He has been over 2 times since Mother's Day. On his own, without our asking him. It looks like maybe we are turning a corner. He is opening up a little at a time. And since he has never been much of a talker, it's ok.

I am cautiously optimistic. I don't really know what caused the change, and the control freak in me is needing to know all the facts. But I also know the lessons I am learning, and being a control freak does not fit in God's plan. So I bite my tongue and just appreciate the time with him.

I just took him back. I will not say 'home' because where he lives IS NOT his home. And even though we got to spend 3 hours with him, it hurts my heart.

I ask for continued prayer. Pray I don't mess this up. I tend to want to fill the quiet with questions and trivial talk... I feel awkward with him. I don't want to be too 'nosy' but at the same time, I want to take advantage of every minute I have with him.

Unforgettable Mother's Day

I have been trying to journal since we took our trip to Tenn. in April... I haven't done it on a daily basis, but more when I have minute and want to write about something specific.

When I journaled about Mother's Day, I wrote that I didn't need to write many details because it was a day that I won't soon forget. It was a rough day. Freddy is in Tx, Steph didn't leave Orlando till the morning so that meant she wouldn't make it to church with us. Andy has been going to church, but he sits in the balcony behind us so we can't see him. That's fine, at least he's in church.... but on Easter, he sat with a family that is friends with us. That hurt me a bit, but I took it. This past Sunday, I half expected him to sit with the Hofrichters. He is close to them and has used Debbie and Bill as his 'parents' during the soccer season.... I knew if that would happen, I was going to have a very hard time dealing with it. Instead, I saw him come in and sit with a family that, in MY opinion, has been a huge influence in his odd behavior change and his moving out.... I couldn't stay in the service. Sunday School wasn't much better. The lesson was about Hannah and how her faith allowed her to give up her only son , Samuel, to God. She understood that he was a 'gift' from God and not hers. Ok, MOST of the time in the last 4 months I have been able to have that attitude. But it was too much on Sunday.

Well, he went to lunch with us. Mainly, I think it's because he wanted to see his sister. But it was a good visit... And he came by today and actually spent about 45 minutes with us. And he didn't act defensive or short with us. It was nice.

Have we turned the corner? Are we getting Andy back? I don't know. I hope so. But I know in all of this mess, God is working on MY attitude. He wants me to trust HIM for all things. He desires to strengthen my faith. So I count it all joy.

On another note, Mom is getting a PETscan. There are nodules in her lungs. We find out next Thursday when we go back to the doctor .

And last but not least, my poor husband went to the orthopedic doctor and got the news that he will need to have a hip replacement sometime between 18mths to 2 years. He is going to hold out as long as he can. Oh, AND when he came out of the doctor's office, he found out someone stole his hubcaps off his truck!!!!!!!!

I tell you, I am really worn out with 2009, and we aren't even half way done with it.

Happy Birthday Freddy!!

On May 7th, 1985 at 1:11pm, the world was introduced to Freddy!

The boy likes his 'tech' stuff.

bought surround sound speakers for his BEDROOM!

His girlfriend, Samsung 48 in. TV

The many faces of Freddy:

Prince Ali

HOW!!

Zorro

Joseph, father of Jesus

Phantom of the Opera

And let's not forget his 'alter ego'... Superman!

Man, I miss that kid!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love ya Freddy!!

Birthday Man!!

May 6th

Fred is 47 today. Yay!!!

The other day, I was hanging out with some co-workers after school. There was a lot of grumbling about their husbands or boyfriends. Once again, I was reminded how blessed I was to have Fred.

I truly don't know what my life would be like without him. It's been an amazing thing watching God mold and shape Fred into the man he has become since WAY back when we first met in 1982...

I know God has a great plan in store for my husband, and I am excited about being part of it.

Happy Birthday Fred!!!! OXOXOXO