Monday, December 5, 2011

Am I being what I need to be??

Ok, first off, I struggled with how to title this blog....

Our pastor was preaching on the Beatitudes last month, and it was really convicting. My relationship with my mom is complicated, to put it mildly. But I have come to realize that I need to be the kind of daughter my mom needs me to be, regardless of what she does on her side. I can't control what she does/says/feels. But I CAN control me. (well, at least work hard on it)

And God has been working on me on other areas:
The other day, I was at Walmart returning something. There was a man ahead of me. A big, burly black man. He had on a sweat shirt with a 'gangster' snowman, and I thought it was funny. He was cashing a check. When I caught a view of his face, he was crying. Tears running down his face and looking miserable. It broke my heart.  I don't know what was wrong. Did he just loose his job? Did his wife leave him? Did someone he loved just died??   What could bring such a big guy to tears in public?
I felt I needed to do something. Say to him I was sorry for the pain he was in. Pray with him/ for him..... But I didn't know him. Would he think I was crazy? Would he tell me off? Would I embarrass him?

AG!! I did nothing... I found Fred in the grocery section. Told him about the man. I thought we should stop right there and pray for the man. But we didn't.... Would people look at us funny? We had groceries to buy and get back home...  Ok, so we will pray in the car after we shopped.  We didn't.

I thought about him that night when I went to bed and that's when I prayed for him. I felt terrible.
I wasted so many opportunities.
There has been in the news about Tim Tebow. That he should 'tone down' his faith. He answered graciously and stood firm.
 I desire to be bold in my walk, but I have a way to go. Prayers Appreciated!!


  1. We are works in progress Valerie. It's hard to take the opportunity, but God tells us to take up our cross and follow him. And to do so means to deny ourselves and our thought process and follow him whole heartedly. I think every Christian struggles with sharing or praying out loud in public. I will be praying that God will continue to convict your heart to act for Him. I pray that you will listen to the Holy Spirit within you and to act when prompted to do so. Not out of a spirit of timidity, but one of genuine love and peace. Love you my dear friend!! I too struggle with the same thing. Stay strong. : )

  2. thank you Mary, that means the world to me! :)