Monday, November 3, 2008

my heart aches

I don't know what's gotten into me, but I have been really bummed the last couple of days about Freddy. I mean, I thought I adjusted to his moving to tx. I even enjoyed cleaning out his room and 'officially' making it an office. And he's 23, for crying out loud, not a baby.

But I have missed him so much it hurts... :(

What if he gets used to not having us around and is fine to be 'without' a family? What if he doesn't miss us (ME)?

I know I sound like a baby, and deep down I do want him to make a life for himself outside of us, that's the natural progression of life. But can't he miss me a little, enough to call me? I would love for him to call me just to tell me something silly that happened, or something that got him aggravated and he needed to vent. I would even take a text or an email.

I get those calls from Nina, and it helps me to deal with her being gone. I know guys are different, but it doesn't make my expectations any different...

Well, I guess I have blubbered enough here. Just needed to let it out to see if I would feel better....

nope, didn't work.


  1. I understand Valerie. It's so hard to let them go and grow up. Adam only calls or texts me when he wants me to send him gift cards to restaurants or he needs me to send money. He calls his dad all the time. It's so frustrating. Like tonight he blew up my phone during small group because he was cooking my chili for his friends and he needed help. Otherwise I don't know if he's alive or dead. Very hard when we were the ones that nurtured them and took care of them. I know they love us, but man it doesn't hurt for a call!!

  2. To quote a famous man: "I feel your pain."

    While my kids are years away from leaving, I am still getting a taste of what's to come. Jael does not love me at night and many times can go without seeing or loving me before bed.

    However, I know that if I pour my life into Landon. Help with practices, weight training, speed drills, go to all his games, and help him achieve great football heights, he will one day look into the camera after scoring the winning touchdown and say: "Hi MOM!!"


  3. if only Freddy played football... :)

    btw, after I begged him in a text, he called me last night on the way to work :)

  4. See, they do listen....... they just don't think the way us girls do.